3 things I do before picking up my phone in the morning, and why it has changed my life
Is this the 356th piece you read about morning habits and why they will change your life? Have you tried to cram a lot in before your workday starts but you seem to fail and retreat to the bare essentials like coffee and brushing your teeth? Have you already declared defeat and put yourself in the category of ‘not a morning person’? Are you watching everyone else crushing it and you’re wondering, how?!
Whether you are in the category of personal growth wizard or just a newbie flirting with the possibility of upgrading your life, this post will shed light on some of the small shifts that have made a big difference in my life.
Spoiler alert: it was not all the transformation programs, courses and yoga retreats. What actually made the biggest difference was how I spent my first waking hour everyday. The little habits I developed and have come to enjoy so much.
Inspired by James Clear’s book Atomic Habits I set out on my own journey to discover what habits actually worked for me, and how I could make them part of who I am. In the process I have tried and failed a lot, only to realise that it is not about what you do, but how you do it and the story you attach to the process.
As a result, the three steps MEDITATE, JOURNAL, MOVE (outlined below) has driven:
More focus and clarity in work
Deeper sense of life satisfaction
A sense of joy, flow and excitement
Less stress and more empowered to respond to challenging situations
Deeper access to creativity
Courage, self-confidence and belief in myself
Love and compassion for myself and others
So here is what my first hour looks like every weekday morning…
I meditate before anything else
I begin every morning in meditation. I do it right upon waking because the moments between sleeping and waking (around 45 min) are the times where we are naturally in touch with our subconscious. We are not only able to draw insights from our more hidden parts of the brain, but we are also able to influence the deeper wiring of our brain chemistry.
If I had to pick one habit that takes no more than 10–20 minutes a day but has changed my life the most, it is hands down meditation. Everyone says that, I know. But for me it wasn’t just about the stillness, it was the fact that for the first time in my life I was actually able to listen to myself, my deeper self.
It was also the most difficult one to start. Years back, I made it my New Years resolution to meditate everyday that year, even if it was just for a minute. Having done a Trancedental Meditation course in India I had the foundation in place, but I hadn’t developed the habit yet. That meant that I experienced a lot of resistance at first when I had to make this part of my daily life, not just a one off fun adventure in foreign lands.
What changed it was when I started listening, to my heart, my soul, that inner voice. Instead of trying to influence it, mute my thoughts or be ‘good at meditation’. The practice of allowing ‘what is’ to surface is so profound. It is not about how long you can do it, but how much you can allow yourself to surrender to the moment, and everything that comes with it.
Key take away on this step:
Start with a minute
Replace the resistance with acceptance (of yourself, the world, what is)
Ask yourself, what do you really hear when you listen?
‘When we listen from our heart, our soul, then we begin to see hope in everything around us. In listening to a higher frequency, we first of all have to resonate at that frequency. Our whole body has to vibrate at a higher frequency, and then we feel more of the truth. We feel through our body, our organs, particularly through our belly, and we begin to feel the higher purpose within things. The more we listen in this way, holding someone’s higher purpose always foremost, the more we’ll emanate that through our listening, and the more others will feel that trust emanating from us.’
Excerpt from The 64 Ways.
I do this powerful journaling practice
After I meditate I make the most important choice of my day. I choose who I want to be and how I want to show up in the world. I declare that choice in my journaling.
And yes that is totally possible. I know it often feels like life happens to you, but you’ve created it, from the patters, thoughts, beliefs and visions you subconsciously run your life on. So that brief moment when you’re still in touch with your subconscious after your meditation is a super powerful time to have a say in your storyline of life. It’s an opportunity to visualise what we previously didn’t think we were capable of, swap our limiting core beliefs for expanding ones and trade our fears for gratitude.
You see, 80% of your thoughts everyday are by default negative. That means the stories you tell yourself about yourself everyday are just as depressing as the news, a continuous critical view of how you speak, think, walk, look… Can you imagine how much limitation you put on yourself everyday? How many worst case scenarios you have plotted and how much joy you have deprived yourself of?!
With these stats in mind I made a commitment to move the needle everyday. And I dug into all the research on belief shifting and thought patterns. I will unpack this whole topic in another post, but all you need to know now is that visualising an outcome you want in detail like it was a movie in front of your eyes is dramatically changing how you move towards that outcome.
This podcast episode with Dr Loehr and Tim Ferris will take you through how powerful this really is and how it is one of the most important practices of top athletes and leaders in the world.
The power broker in your life is the voice that no one hears. How well you revisit the tone and content of your private voice is what determines the quality of your life. It is the master storyteller, and the stories we tell ourselves are our reality.
— Dr. Jim Loehr
I write down how the day is going to unfold, what I will accomplish, how I am showing up for it and how it feels when its done. I also write down all the things that are working for me right now, what I am proud of and all the things I am grateful for.
This little morning cocktail for my brain really does wonder and it usually doesn’t take more than a page or two to get the day going on a mega high!
It looks something like this:
Today I will show up in my highest expression for my clients. I will coach them to amazing outcomes. I will be productive and creative, trusting my inner wisdom and expertise. I will give myself space to reflect and connect with myself in nature. By the end of the day I will be proud, satisfied and go to bed with a sense of awe and ease.
Right now I feel flow in my work, I have amazing friends and mentors. I am grateful for the fact that I have clients to serve, that my family is happy and healthy, that I wake up to the most beautiful view everyday. I am proud of my commitment to growth and expansion, for never giving up, and for the beautiful feedback I got from one of my clients today.
I move my body
Then finally, to really move what has come up in the meditation and journaling into my core, I move my body. Some days that means I just stretch on my yoga mat, others I dance, do a Hiit session, a pilates class with Melissa Wood or a yoga flow with Alo Moves.
I have learned to listen to my body and what it needs every day. No day looks the same. I have come to realise that showing up for myself and listening to what my body needs has created a much more healthy and balanced approach to my exercise routine. I use to do a lot of high intensity training and yoga with little rest and space for deeper movements. It drained me. I had to crash a few times to find my rhythm.
When I stopped moving my body to look a certain way and started to listen to how I wanted to feel, I not only got leaner but I had so much more compassion, love and fun with myself.
Key take away on this step:
Move from a place of compassion, joy and love for yourself
Tune into what your body needs that day
Challenge yourself but don’t overdo it
This is all it takes
Most days these 3 stages of my morning takes no more than an hour in total. But it has made such a huge difference on my mental, physical and spiritual health. It helped me recover from my compulsive overachieving disorder (I made that up, yes) and live a life with so much more purpose, joy, focus and satisfaction.
It is the tiny changes that we make everyday that one day give us remarkable results. I don’t remember the exact day my life changed. But I do remember what it felt like before I had developed these habits. And I know that I will never go back there again. Now, the routine might change, it most certainly will, depending on what season of life I am in. But one thing I know is that I will never go back to waking up with my phone clued to my half-opened eyes every again.
Check in with yourself: What daily habits have changed your life? What is working in your moring routine and what is not? Is there anything you have been curious to explore but you don’t know where to start?
Try this for a week and I can guarantee that you will see your life through a very different lense.
